She was passed the BLUNT, while he passed the BLAME.

3:29 AM

"So you miss being loved"..
He said, while still smoking few words he wanted to escape from..





My eyes dart back and forth, signaling an
internal debate. I wanted to reiterate the thoughts that i'd been telling my self every other night.. But he was just another drug dealer..
"Some chemicals in your brain trick you into thinking you’ve got feelings for someone. And that’s when the troubles begin. Let your guard down, and it’s like Lucy with the
football" 
I could just manage telling him this.
It hadn't been long i knew this guy and what interested him in knowing much was still in disguise.
I had been selfish enough, using him to flush out my words and now i had started to sleep a dreamless sleep from quite a few days, while He'd been smoking on and on.

“True love is just a joke 
Jokes are funny. True love is not only bogus, it’s hazardous to your health, get stabbed by a psycho and then start all over again"
He laughed changing the air in the room.

It was tough deciding if i was convinced by what this bugger had to say or was i still breathing in the days that just went by..
Days when i couldn't live my life without him..
He was still the smile on my lips, rushing of his skin, the still of our silence..
we breathed the prettiness in and breathed our past out..
Days when i overshadowed him with my faith and could pull him down to love.

The room had started to grow in the fumes of some distorted thoughts.
I was here with no idea of how life was breathing on the other end,
The rope that was once in his hand and the chances of letting go was 50 percent less. It had turned the other  way around..
In the silence of the present i could still breathe the prettiness of yesterday..
The words that reached him with every kiss on his cheek, the answers to all that the head intended to ask in the single embrace..

I was going through a scotch and cigarettes phase while falling into a wordless
cease-fire and, finally, a restless sleep.

Waking up to the same dream now that had turned into a dark reality. 
He was gone. Left the door closed behind him though.
There's a difference between life in the head and life in the hand. I had believed , but i was turning down my own perceptions.

 Had it been me? Had it been the fragmented and disoriented me who stifled the perfectness?
Each day dreaming what was gone and unlocking the door without him reminding me was piling up.
 The blame game was on, though there was just a single participant here..

"The redolent piles of marijuana that blanket the tabletops make me think of freshly
mowed lawns." 
He shouted in ecstasy with the expressions almost blasphemous now.
I hardly knew what could be expected out of him.. I was not handling any blasphemy here though.. But his lack of distrust in what i had kept my faith in was moving a little of me somewhere..
We were on the third round of our drinks while he was still high in the head and on the outside.
I could see in him where i had started with "him" some time back.
Where i was the one who was running around looking for something in nothing and he was ardent enough to get me out of that room..
It had been so long waiting here and the pieces were now falling.. 
We had had our moments and it was part of yet another past now.



“but it seemed to me like we were negotiating.”
he said coming around the window i was now standing on, while it was pouring out side.
Negotiating? What were we negotiating?
“What else? Our first kiss.”
He handed me over my cup of coffee while i could hear "The way you look tonight" playing from some distance..
And then it happened—resting one hand against
my cheek, he touched his lips to mine. Softly, gently swiping his tongue over mine.

"See?” hesaid. “You’re still alive, you still breathe love.. you still respond..
Could be a fluke. We’re going to have to try that again.” 

This time I pulled him towards me. 
Our lips lock,
then part, tentative tongue-swipes giving way to more enthusiastic exploration.

The sound of the raindrops was raising and dropping with the kiss of death..
He then passed the Blunt with a conscious smile and the blame game seemed to find another representative.





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2 comments

  1. wow! Incredible !..the way you write things is just awesome..one can really feel that...keep posting your good work..love to read every bit from you..!

    ReplyDelete

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